Them there's Some Hot Bitches!

Holla!

jody & jeff

FYI, AKA... Contrary to popular belief, the two uber-gay gentlemen shown above are NOT, in fact, "involved". For the record, I would also like to state that they have never been in an act which would constitute any "involvement" of any kind... other than the occasional drunken confusion, which resulted in some harmless leg-humping. I wish to clarify to you all on this issue, as I have recently been questioned on this matter and wanted everyone to be aware that this was not the case.
It is by no means out of anger, disgust, nausea or embarrasment that I have done so. I am clearly stating this for the record so I won't be chastized for getting hammered on my up-coming birthday and potentially picking up some other random person(s).

I smell like smoke... and this time I like it

Last night was the first of many Hatchet Lake Ho-Downs. Yes, the Ho's were out in full force terrorizing the lakeside with their gay antics and talk of muff-diving. I'm sure the neighbours are going to love us this summer.
It was a great night. We were briefly entertained by Charles and Jen who stopped in for a quick visit and then headed off to the city for a night of drunken craziness (from what I've heard) Little did they know, they missed much of the same here... minus the drunk part.
After BBQ'ing burgers and diving into Jody's home-made dips, we headed down to the fire.... well, ok, burning cage of newspaper and twigs. Despite my years of boy scouts, we had a rough time getting things going as the wood was damp and screamed more than Derella the morning after an all-out ginfest. I guess I should have spent more time learning how to MAKE the fire, rather than getting the boys drunk. I still managed to earn the badge though.
So, being the fabuluous gay entourage that we are, we draped ourselves in our finest cottage-couture (flannel blankets) and kept ourselves warm with a full-on verbal assault. The burns were flying... mainly about my shortness, my sluttiness and my lack of self-control. Needless to say, I was toasty most of the evening.
Then, my favourite part, asshole. NO! That's not what I meant. We played asshole. I now know why I moved back from Ontario. It was for the cards. I missed that part of my previous life. Ontario was sparse in the card-player department. In fact, they openly mocked me for wanting to play. losers!
Well, today I'm off with Pocket Gay to the Redken Hair Show where I'll be participating. Slightly scary and apparently horribly entertaining for the gay mob, they're all jealous and wish they had been chosen I'm sure.

Spring has Sprung!

I have three events to report on from this weekend. I'll get right down to business:


1) My Pocket Gay got some booty. Good for him... and good for me. This conveniently took me out of the spotlight for a weekend. I thank the Pocket Gay for that! His bar performance, haste and follow-through was impeccable. No names were used, or required either. In fact, he doesn't know much more about the victim than the rest of us... lol
His only fault was in not finding out when the mystery man was heading back to Mtl. since a repeat performance could have possibly been in the works.

2) Mr. Morehouse can NO LONGER make sarcastic comments about my car, or lack of metal therein. At least the WHEELS STAY ON IT WHILE I'M DRIVING! At about 3pm today I received a desperate call from him asking for me to hop in my plastic pod and head down the street to pick up he and the luscious lesbos. They were stranded. See, while driving down Duke St. the rear tire of his car decided that it had had enough and opted to go on it's own path. Thankfully they were able to stop the car just in time and avoid driving down the street on the bumper. A tow truck came and as onlookers laughed (including myself) was able to get it back on safely enough to venture back to his place. Thank god this didn't happen last night when Derella and I made our late night McD's run to Quinpool. I would have shit my pants for sure.

3) Lastly, but certainly the highlight and more pressing issue of the weekend, the status of my roommate Julie. No folks, her weekend was not filled with a cross-Canada rendevous, a creamy dessert or even dinner and an movie. Julie spent her weekend at the hospital getting her lung re-inflated! It would seem that being a tall slender individual who recently gave up the cancer sticks has put her body in a state of shock. She's doing well, and is currently sporting some Thoracostomy-couture from the Cobequid Spring 2005 Collection. She's cleverly disguised this under her bountiful brazier of course, and is finding it to be even more uncomfortable than a new pair of Steve Madden's on a city-wide marathon. lol She seems to be in good spirits though (which could be drug-related) and is taking things in stride. Most importantly, her whit and sarcasm hasn't left her... Stay tuned for more updates.