Saturday, April 29, 2006
taurus horoscope

Jeff!
Question your internal unhappiness. Your need for better negotiating skills has never been clearer than it is today. Focusing on the past though, will make a looming reward seem elusive.

I've been having horrible nightmares...

I know I've seen this skinny, scary looking bitch before.
Oh right, now I remember!

And You Ask Yourself Why You're Fat?

Today's Lunch Menu Includes:

- 1 Burger King Whopper Combo w/ Cheese

- 1 Oreo Ice Cream Sandwich

- 1 750ml Chocolate Milk

- 1 275g Bag Sour Wine Gums

I'm only half way through my first coffee of the day, so I'll have to continue this later. Perhaps some blog reading will inspire me.
.... to be continued.

Love The Front Of Me

It's 4:50 am. I just got home. I'm tired. Fuck.

What We Share

When we share laughter,
there’s twice the fun;
When we share success,
we’ve surpassed what we’ve done.
When we share problems,
there’s half the pain,
When we share tears,
A rainbow follows rain.
When we share dreams,
They become more real,
When we share secrets,
it’s our hearts we reveal.
If we share a smile,
That's when our love shows,
If we share a hug,
That’s when our love grows,
If we share with someone
On whom we depend,
That person is always
“Family” or “A Friend”.
And what draws us closer
And makes us all care
Is not what we have,
But the things that we share.

-by Jill Wolf

The Countdown Is On!

15 days 'til the 28th birthday. Fuck. As disturbing as that sounds, I'm sure it'll be an entertaining event this year. The pre-birthday party at Peter's this weekend will be pic-worthy. Charge your batteries... it could get nasty.

Granola Lovah

RECAP: Last night (After spending a few hours helping stuff bags at the AFF office) Andrew, Joseph and I headed to the Seahorse for a little Jill Barber action. Although she only performed a few of her new songs, it was a great show. She makes it all look so effortless. lol
While sitting in a sea (pardon the pun) of hippies, Joseph and I came to the startling conclusion. We're missing out on a key demographic; The Gay Granolas.
Gay Granolas are an untapped resource. Yes, they may not be the most hygenic of the group, but let's just quickly discuss the benefits of snagging one of these shaggy-haired, plaid-wearing Earth Lovers.

#1 - They're handy. No, they may not know how to match their wardrobe, but if you have a house that needs shingling or painting... he's your guy!

#2- Car troubles? Well, with a Gay Granola your roadside horror will soon be forgotten. He'll surely know how to change your tire or top up the radiator... I mean, he can keep a old VW wagon on the road. Your Saturn will be a piece of cake!

#3- He's the Fixer-Upper. Yes folks, most of today's Granolas are just passing through a phase. Eventually they'll come to their senses, bathe and go shopping. By latching on beforehand you're not running the risk of losing him once he's done some manscaping and slaps on a pair of Diesel jeans.

#4- Weed. If he doesn't have any his friends will. Enough said.

Centapathetic

We're 100 days into 2006. Action for Jeff = 0. Disturbing. Horrifying.

No further explanation required.

Back from Fucktown

Well, I have survived. I've safely returned from another wild weekend in F'ton. lol Wild may be a stretch, but it was more eventful than the last few weeks I've spent here. That's for sure.

The birthday party on Saturday went well. I worked my "unapproachable" snotty demeanor as to avoid the repetitive questioning about what I'm doing in Halifax, where I'm working... and the ever-popular "so, when are you going to get married?". That never seems to fail me. lol It was a long afternoon and a pleasant reminder that my craziness is hereditary. I have an entire family tree backing that up.

Aside from my grandfather's 90th birthday party I really didn't accomplish much this weekend. I spent most of it with Sandra and her boyfriend and didn't go out. I must say, she has that poor young boy by the balls. haha
It was quite convenient having him at her beckoned call though. He was conveniently available to:
a) drive us to/from the liquor store (and anywhere else we decided we needed to go)
b) pick us up when we're trashed and don't feel like cabbing it home
c) make breakfast
d) have dinner ready when she's off work and generally wait on her hand and foot. lol

She should start charging for lessons because this cougar knows what she's doing! He literally calls her to ask if she wants him to do things for her. How has she managed this? I doubt that I'll even be so lucky. I appear to be having a hard enough time getting people to call me. Period. lol

Their plan is to move to Kelowna later this spring in search of better job opportunities. I'm sure things will work out, although I still think she needs to move here instead. BOO!

Ugh...

Um... what kind of sick fucking joke is this?